Most addicts of any kind, whether it is a dependency to drugs, alcohol, food, gambling, adventure, work, abusive relationships, shopping, exercise, etc., are addicts before they ever acknowledge that they are addicts. The reality is that many addicts never admit that they are addicts. They often say something like, “I’m just having a little fun”, “I’m relaxing”, “I’m trying to be successful”, or “I deserve a splurge once in a while”, justifying the normalcy of their behavior, even when it becomes unmanageable.
Sexual addiction is very complex. A few of the underlying issues contributing to sexual addiction involves the brain’s neurotransmitters compelling compulsive behavior, dysfunctional attachment styles that hinder relational connection and intimacy, shame that continually challenges self-worth and wellbeing, PTSD from Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE’s) creating ongoing emotional pain, and relational difficulties that drive us towards isolation and self sufficiency.
The problem with identifying sex addiction is that there are no obvious physical symptoms that would indicate a problem. A Breathalyzer test, and urine or blood samples are sure ways to determine whether or not someone has been drinking alcohol.
There is a worldwide epidemic today that is becoming more recognizable because of the increased demand for services. It is commercial sex. This booming industry generates billions of dollars each year, and the ceiling of profitability seems unending.
It’s a new year, 2018, and many people have resolved to make a change to their life in one way or another, whether it is to lose weight, get in shape, or change a bad habit. Change is a part of life, although sometimes change comes upon us and to us, versus intentionally changing.
Trauma is something that most of us have experienced in one way or another, whether it was through abuse, abandonment, or a circumstance that we had no control over. As children, when we do not have access to resources that help us navigate through the pain of these experiences, we will often develop coping mechanisms that can be unhealthy in the long term.
Conquering compulsive sexual behavior is challenging to say the least. Once we are accustomed to certain choices that fulfill us, even for a moment, it is difficult to withstand the temptation to give in just one more time.
Choice is an amazing gift we have as humans. Animals are ruled by instinct, while we get to choose between alternative desires. Whereas animals can adapt to their environment and outside controlled stimulus, we can intentionally choose our behavior.
Alcohol and drug abuse, overeating, gambling, and deviant sex has been a problem for centuries. Today, the level of compulsive behavior seems to be at epidemic proportions, and increasing in scope and magnitude daily.